Her Spirit

Her spirit knows there is something wrong before it is physically manifested.  She has anxious, looming thoughts and feelings about the future.  At night, her body curls up as she dreams of the depressing inevitable.  She awakes, shaking, feeling a tear slide down her cheek.  “No”, she begs.  “Please no…” The days continue on, the same foreboding ache in her heart.  She tries to ignore … Continue reading Her Spirit

Spiraling

Spiraling Into madness. My brain So anomalistic Idiosyncratic Unparagoned Encumbered. It hurts Oh how it hurts. My thoughts Cut through my mind Sharp Painful Bloody… I’m bleeding. A cocaphony In my brain. Loud, confusing, caustic. I’m spiraling Down Down Deeper still. Indelicate black tunnels Pull me farther in. I can’t see now. I feel the ghosts Of my past Tug at me. I’m pulling apart. … Continue reading Spiraling

Talk to Me

Talk to me Say something One word Just one Please… I need – I need to know Where you stand With me. Say something. What do you feel, What do you think, What have I done wrong… I want to explode I want to rip my hair out One by one. These thoughts They attack me Like a swarm of bees Like a hurricane Like … Continue reading Talk to Me

See Me

You don’t see me. You see your expectations of me. You see a version of me that you want, Or expect me to be.   They say “She’s a whore”, “She’s dumb” “She’s a bitch” “She’s selfish”… You don’t see me.   I don’t fit into a box, I’m hard to understand, I’m uniquely me. The world refuses to see me. Refuses to even try to understand my heart … Continue reading See Me

Better

  What have I done? What am I doing? I’ve ruined relationships, hurt people. I’ve lied, stolen and cheated. I have walked away from my faith, allowing the world to change me and influence every part of me. I have been mean, so mean. So unkind it’s grotesque. I’ve fallen in love with the wrong men out of desperation. Desperation… Why? Because I am afraid … Continue reading Better