It’s so Strange…

It’s so strange how a good thing goes bad in an instant.

All the good memories are flooded with the bad, with the lies, the abuse, the hurt.

It’s so strange how one can fall out of love so quickly. I’ve never been that one.

I love with my whole heart, I put my all into relationships – but then they end.

I know it’s for the best as I look back at all the things he couldn’t give me. Not even flowers – imagine that!

So I walked away, painfully, but it needed to be done. My heart still aches for him despite all the bad.

Food has no taste, all I want to do is sleep, but then I dream of him and force my body to wake up just to find another distraction. Anything to keep my mind off the hurt.

I loved him, and he would say it back. But he never really knew what love was. If he loved me, he wouldn’t yell at me. He wouldn’t disappear for days at a time, blatantly ignoring my messages.

If he loved me, he would’ve changed. But I can’t wait for change. I can’t wait on him to be the man I thought he was. That’s not fair for either of us.

It’s so strange when you picture a future with someone, but as time goes on it becomes dimmer and dimmer to non existent…

Run With You

I don’t know

how many times

you’ve been

broken

 

and I don’t know

how many times

you’ve fallen

 

but I do know one thing.

 

You make me

want to run with you.

 

You make me

want to find

that one place,

 

where I can surrender

and make sense

of all this love

 

I have contained

within.

 

I want to run away

with you…

 

somewhere far…

 

where the wolves

have gone missing

 

and butterflies

continuously spread their wings.

 

I want to find this place

with you…

 

and I want to grow

old there.

 

That’s all.

 

– Robert M. Drake

 

 

 

 

The Kiss

The kiss-

Oh that one kiss,
It changed my life 
Forever. 
It had been six months. 
Six long months since I knew 
I wanted you. 
I needed you. 
I craved you. 
Six suffocating months of swallowing my feelings,
Feigning hate because admitting my love for you was just too hard. 
You didn’t want me. 
I had to not want you either…
Six months. 
Then, 
You came to me. 
Everything changed in just a few moments- 
Oh those precious moments…
We talked. 
We argued. 
We made up. 
You held me, 
I wanted to cry. 
I didn’t know I could miss an embrace so badly.  
I didn’t want to let go. 
I didn’t want to lose you again  
You stared into my eyes, into my soul. 
You saw me, the real me, for the first time. 
Finally, your lips reunited with mine. 
So tender,
So strong,
So full of depth 
And emotion… 
Never have I experienced something so 
Mind boggling 
Beautiful 
Painful 
Passionate 
Exhilarating 
Intoxicating… 
My stomach turned in knots
Tears welled up in my eyes. 
I never wanted it to end,
The kiss 
That changed my life- 
Our lives 
Forever. 

Spiraling

Spiraling

Into madness.

My brain

So anomalistic

Idiosyncratic

Unparagoned

Encumbered.

It hurts

Oh how it hurts.

My thoughts

Cut through my mind

Sharp

Painful

Bloody…

I’m bleeding.

A cocaphony

In my brain.

Loud, confusing, caustic.

I’m spiraling

Down

Down

Deeper still.

Indelicate black tunnels

Pull me farther in.

I can’t see now.

I feel the ghosts

Of my past

Tug at me.

I’m pulling apart.

Spiraling into

Lurid dreams.

I’m not dreaming.

I’m failing.

I’m guilty, lost, crazed, unsure.

The spiral is long,

I’m still falling deeper,

Deeper still.

Magnets

Magnets.

They pull together.

One is drawn towards the other.

It is their nature.

You hold the magnets just close enough, you can’t pull them apart.

The draw is too strong.

 

We pulled apart.  It felt unnatural.  Sudden.

Yet, the draw is there.

You came back.

I never left.

 

We tried so hard to move one, to live our lives apart.

But now, here we are.

Staring into each other’s eyes hating and loving how strongly we care for each other.

How connected we are.

It’s in our nature.

 

We tried to force a change.  But like magnets, we were made for this connection.

We couldn’t pull apart successfully.  We came back together.

You were drawn to me despite everything.

I’m drawn to you.  To your spirit.  To your heart.

My heart tugs and pulls in your direction no matter how hard I try to fight it.

 

I’m linked to you.  We are linked together.

Our spirits can’t help but come back together.  They tug at us till we are joined again.

Like magnets, we can’t help it.

This force that is inexplicably powerful.

This force that brings me back to you.

 

 

 

Run

Her hair flows behind her as she runs through the darkness.  Life hits her at every angle, but she continues to get back up.  Her body is covered in bruises, scrapes and scars.  Each mark from a hurtful word, a painful touch, a self hating thought…

She still runs.

Her body is weak, but her mind is strong.  She gets up.  She runs.

What is she running from?

Aren’t we all running?

Running away from our fears, running away from responsible.  But also away from evil, away from threats and unnecessary pain.

I am running with her.

In the darkness I see her hair.  The long, golden tresses glow in the blackness.

Where are we running to?

I see it.

There is light in the distance.  I keep running.

I run for life, I run for joy, I run for love.

I run because of the hurt, because of the heart ache.  Despite the darkness, there is light.

We run for the light.

My body is covered in bruises, scrapes and scars, but it reminds me of where I’ve been.

Now, I’m heading into the light…

Website Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑