What is going on? First you love me, you make me feel special, happy… Then you realize you need to work on yourself. Okay fine, I’ll be here with you through the process. But wait, it gets better! You get back with your ex right after you rip my heart out with your words. I cried myself to sleep for days on end. I felt … Continue reading What are you doing? What am I thinking?
It consumes me. It’s all I think about. I want to lash out. I want to hit you. My heart aches. It pounds quickly. It feels like my heart is trying to escape my chest. I cry. The tears burn my eyes. I’m so angry. This isn’t rational, I know. But I can’t stop. I can’t stop thinking about what you did to me. I … Continue reading I Hate This…
Sometimes I wonder, What my life would be like, Had I never met you. If I never knew the Taste of your lips, The heat of your body. Do I wish it never happened? “No never, I must have loved you.” Despite your disregard for my values, I stayed around, always for you. That one night, you left a rose on my doorstep, A rose … Continue reading Love Like an Arrow
What have I done? What am I doing? I’ve ruined relationships, hurt people. I’ve lied, stolen and cheated. I have walked away from my faith, allowing the world to change me and influence every part of me. I have been mean, so mean. So unkind it’s grotesque. I’ve fallen in love with the wrong men out of desperation. Desperation… Why? Because I am afraid … Continue reading Better
The sun is shining but I’m left in the dark. A fog blurs my mind like a haunting ghost. It’s warm outside, But my body is still cold. What is wrong with me? Should I drink some tea? Can I ignore the tension in my brain? Oh you’re fine, my mind reassures me. Maybe it’s lack of sleep! Tossing and turning in bed all night, … Continue reading The Mind
His lips soft against mine. Then more pressing. Hands sliding down my body, gently, slowly. Touching every inch of me. They please me. They make me cry out. But then it hurts. Then, I touch him. I glide my tongue along him. I tease him with my plump lips. Please him with my body. Ever so slowly. Ever so longingly… The night ends. My legs … Continue reading Don’t Leave Me
Oh how I remember those sweet goodnight text messages, you know, the ones with heart emojis and loving words. I remember the feel of his lips upon mine, the sound of his voice, the fit of my hand in his… I thought I was happy. He would come visit me at work and I would smile so wide everytime. I ran into his arms and … Continue reading Naivety: A Personal Narrative From Then to Now