It’s so strange how a good thing goes bad in an instant.
All the good memories are flooded with the bad, with the lies, the abuse, the hurt.
It’s so strange how one can fall out of love so quickly. I’ve never been that one.
I love with my whole heart, I put my all into relationships – but then they end.
I know it’s for the best as I look back at all the things he couldn’t give me. Not even flowers – imagine that!
So I walked away, painfully, but it needed to be done. My heart still aches for him despite all the bad.
Food has no taste, all I want to do is sleep, but then I dream of him and force my body to wake up just to find another distraction. Anything to keep my mind off the hurt.
I loved him, and he would say it back. But he never really knew what love was. If he loved me, he wouldn’t yell at me. He wouldn’t disappear for days at a time, blatantly ignoring my messages.
If he loved me, he would’ve changed. But I can’t wait for change. I can’t wait on him to be the man I thought he was. That’s not fair for either of us.
It’s so strange when you picture a future with someone, but as time goes on it becomes dimmer and dimmer to non existent…
The Blonde Quill 
Your last paragraph reminded me of something Alain de Botton wrote:
“It was no longer her absence that wounded me, but my growing indifference to it. Forgetting, however calming, was also a reminder of infidelity to what I had at one time held so dear.” @alaindebotton, On Love
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This is a beautiful excerpt! I will have to look into this writer!
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It is an amazing sentiment. Also, he did a wonderful interview with Krista Trippet’s On Being podcast a few years ago –> https://bit.ly/30JHW2C. Great listen.
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Also, of all the Ugly, Shitheadery, and Fucketty in my situation, of all the things I experienced, it was her silence that left me with the most injuries.
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